I Am......???

James Bond is lucky. He doesn’t have to explain much about his job yet people understand it. Now, how I wish I was James Bond. Two years and 2 months of being a music manager my Mom has not yet figured out what exactly her daughter means when she says she has to rip songs, prepare music reports, prepare clocks and schedule music leave alone my Dad.  

I am a radio jock too. Yes I am allowed to open my mouth on Sunday’s. So basically I am a music manager and a radio jock. And when a bunch of silk clad uncles and aunts in a marriage hall enquire about my job they look as fierce as Brett Lee running up the pitch to bowl a few bouncers. Trust me I prefer Lee any day. 

Many bouncers (questions) have been bowled at me and they still do but I thought I shall put down those which I can never forget:- 

• “Oh you work for Radio. Do you know Padmamba from the light music section? She has been working in radio from 10 years.”  

This is when I cut the conversation to inform that I don’t work for All India Radio but for RADIO ONE RUN BY BBC AND MID DAY.

• “Chi chi! What you MBA’s are doing in radios and all I don’t know pa? No good language, no good songs. Very sad. My sisters – in – law works for Microsoft. Forward your resume to her. You will get a good job. 

This came from a pundit in the temple beside my house with an aversion from radio. And FYI I dint ask him for a job.

• “Your show is only on Sunday? Then what do you from Monday to Saturday?” 

I work as a music manager with the help of software. And I would have repeated this every minute I spent in front of these seasoned bowlers.

• “O you know software? Which one C, C ++, Java?” 

Some uncle whose son is a software engineer in Infosys asked me this question.

• “Radio Staion? That Radio City 94.3 fm. Ohohoho mast majaa maadi.” 

 Intelligent but mixed up facts. I work for 94.3 Radio One and not Radio City (you got my frequency right though). Mast Majaa Maadi is some other stations line. I understand what it is to be hit by so many radio stations at once.

• “Ohhhhhhhh she is music manager. Handles all the music CD’s in radio station must be.” 

Gosh.

How easy it is to say ‘Main Hoon Don’ or ‘My name is Bond, James Bond.” It’s like calling a dinosaur a dinosaur. But the problem with me is that I am a brontosaurus and people think I have walked out of the museum. I guess I'll change my name to Spaceman Spiff or Tracer Bullet. 

All Roads Lead to Rome.........?

So was taught to me in school by English teachers who glorified the existence of a city which I bet they wouldn’t’ be seeing in their lifetime. With due respect to their experience and their gray hair, I wish to differ from the knowledge they imparted as no road leads to Rome but to some place fit enough to burn calories. The bug caught on to me and I found myself walking towards the Malleswaram Sankey Tank, 6 am in the morning every single day – trust me I never woke up this early even for MBA exams.

 

I don’t intend to explain what sankey looks like – u wanna know, u better go – but what I’ve observed from the past one week is this:-

 

-          I can understand a toddler quacking at ducks in the sankey water to attract their attention but men over 40 trying to do the same with an intention of getting attention from young girls is certainly not a rejuvenating act – not early in the morning.

-          You walk so that u exercise your body, breath in lots of fresh air, fill it in your damn lungs and pile on the energy for the entire day. So stop b@$%^&*g about your daughter – in – law, your neighbor’s dog and the politician’s girlfriends. Just walk your walk, you don’t need to talk.  

-          My dear lovebirds, I know it’s tough to keep your hands off your partner but imagine getting caught in the middle of the act perhaps by your dad’s friend who paces up and down the length of sankey tank checking out young girls. My suggestion – get a room.

-          One last thing – its time you fake laughter groups remain silent (we call it dead air in Radio Lingo) or shifted your camp to some place else. Haven’t you realized the ducks swim nowhere near you? Imagine my plight.

 

Sometimes I think I should have got myself a treadmill but trust me getting this kind of free entertainment five minutes away from home makes my on air performance better. I hope and pray that Sankey Tank remains the way it is and doesn’t get run over by METRO.