“Quit
your job, sit at home and hunt for another one. Every part of your soul which
seemed lost will come back to you. No need to hunt for it” was my brother’s
response when I brought up ‘Soul Searching’.
He’s
true, so true to an extent that it can be used as a ‘quotable quote’ in one of
those self-healing or motivation workshops. And if these workshops need a live
example, Je suis la.
So
far I have searched for my soul thrice - not that my life or my visage bears
any close resemblance to Voldemort who cut his soul into seven pieces and hid
them in historical artefacts to remain immortal – and it was the third time
that I was reassured that my soul was where it is supposed to be, right within
me and not anywhere else but the three sabbaticals that I took opened my eyes
wider to the world. Let me give you a very brief insight into these ‘self-imposed
breaks’.
I
finished b-school and I started working for a leading radio station. I had a
great job, a great boss, a great pay and a great life. Two and a half
years of this greatness had made me secure and confident and that’s when I decided
to venture into the wild. I quit my job without having another one in hand. I desired
a break and I got one much against the opinions that my family and my boss
housed. I made lots of plans, executed some, failed at some yet what kept me sane
was the financial planning that I was adept with. I was the ant from the ‘ant
and the grasshopper’. I had stored for the rainy day and I was warm. But like
any ant I was running short of my stock and I had to get back to the field. That’s
when my second job happened.
I
lasted there for six months. Not my fault. I went in during a time when the
organisation was a little confused about the domain they had hired some of us
to work for. Six months and I figured that drastic changes might shut that
department forever hence I quit. There again, I had saved. I had become a
robust ant.
The
third job happened and I stuck around for longer i.e. 2 and a half years. My 20’s
were soon depleting and the job did not help me feel secure. I had made new
friends, I had evolved in tastes, I had finished a few ‘phases’, going through a
few and this time around I quit as I felt I was more secure at home. I had dwelled
for too long inside ‘Bane’s Pit’ and if I wouldn’t have made a jump –with or
without a rope- I would have festered someday or the other. I made a jump, without
a rope.
It
felt great. I had come out of a muggy tunnel and the fresh air that I breathed
was a harbinger or fresh hopes. I had wind beneath my wings (I still do) and I can
pranced better than a deer. But prancing and flying would not help me make my
ends meet. I needed a job and a secure one at that. While at the helm of making
my choices to frame my future what has intrigued me is the reinforced faith in
me by people I love and the absence of those who were once upon a time inseparable.
My
family has always been supportive of every decision that I have taken. They know
that I will find a way out of this sabbatical and I am only waiting for the
right opportunity.
My
friends have stood by me, encouraging me whenever I felt low, recommending
companies, jobs and people. Some have gone to the extent of putting a kind word
on my behalf to people who might matter the most in my job hunt.
Relatives
hemmed hawed and left. I couldn’t explain what I was looking for nor did I want
them to understand anything but it’s the inseparable ones that left a lasting
impression on my soul.
I
am no longer a part of their weekend plans nor am I on their speed dials. ‘I
have been busy’ is a lame excuse I receive despite the visible display of
pseudo weekend shenanigans on social networking sites. Being frugal with my
expenses has earned me a ban from the pseudo (I dare to mention it twice in
this paragraph) high-flying ‘yo’ kind of people who once called themselves my
friends.
Peer
pressure has never affected me nor have I lived my life to please anybody else.
I don’t feel the necessity to harp about my weekday or weekend activities on a ‘Wall’
to make myself visible to people. This was a sabbatical which wasn’t planned
for and till I find another source of income, I may not visit the usual restaurants
that I frequented nor would I be seen in places where I might have to turn into
the ‘Grasshopper’. But if I am being judged by these acts of mine then I must
say, you’re judging too soon.
Pain
beyond a point makes one immune to pain itself and I have reached a point where
lightning by a passing cloud barely gives me a scratch leave alone a wound.
It
is me today; it could be you tomorrow in a sabbatical. What helps is to know
who your friends are and who aren’t, spring clean the phone list, check if you
have compromised on your values and if you have been successful in keeping your
sanity intact despite adversities and disloyalty then sit back and relax for you
don’t have to search for your soul. It is there where it has to be, within.
Oh
and you’ll get a job too.
