Before you married couples -new or not
- shoot daggers at me over the title, hear me out. I have nothing against this
institution and am a firm believer that one shouldn’t enter it if one is not
sure or ‘sorted’ about the path one has to take in life. Having said that I
shall also reiterate that the entire gamut of ‘Arranged Marriage’ has turned
into a Mandi (no reference to the
Shyam Benegal classic though sometimes I can’t but see a similarity) turning
some into traders of the best goods.
At 32, I find myself surrounded by
three kinds of people. The first type that consistently reminds me that my biological
clock is ticking and that I shouldn’t delay the matter any further. The bunch almost sounds like teleshopping
network which first tries to attract you towards the product and then scares
you by saying that the ‘stocks are limited’
The second type consists of people who
talk sense, for instance a Hindi professor who taught me at school said “Careful
when you are choosing a partner for you have to spend an entire life with him”
when I bumped into him on my way back from work. This type is armed with good
market knowledge; hence advice can be banked upon.
The third type is of course the gang
who has not an iota of concern about my future yet is curious about every move
of mine so that I can deliver fodder for thoughts and gossip sessions.
Though the ‘deliverables’ from my end
according to type 1 are at stake, I must remind this particular gang that the
clock ticking away is mine, and the predisposition of winding it or not lies
with me and nobody else. So back off if you like your molars.
I like the second type. Nobody is nosy
in that gang and they know where to draw a line. As far as the third type is
concerned, have you ever seen an independent parasite? Distance yourself and
they shall go away from you if not from the world. But do keep your eyes and
ears open for the ‘goods’ when they come in as not every trader in the ‘souk’
sells you legit ones.
I may sound harsh with this deliberate
comparison but I have every reason to do so. Having come across a few prospective grooms myself, I find my enthusiasm shrink after every encounter. Call it my misfortune
(I’d like to call it otherwise) but the few men I have spoken to have exhibited
(pseudo) liberal values and then turned cold turkey. One of them gingerly added me on Facebook to
fake keenness but his passion disappeared when he figured out that I wasn’t a
grey market customer. In short he was putting up an act to please his masters,
much against his own will.
Male bashing isn’t what I have resorted
to here in this post and I must insist that perhaps people on the other side of
the fence may have similar diatribes against my ilk but I don’t intend to speak
for them. This is my story and for once I refuse to shadow write.
I haven’t given up either. I am an
Indian woman and I know how to shop. I look for the perfect fit, durability,
warranty and unabashedly ask if the material shrinks when washed or if the
service center of the brand will help me troubleshoot errors through a phone call. I
believe in strong investments.
What I am yet to learn are bargaining
skills.
Hi Rashmi,
ReplyDeleteIn the past few months I have been checking your blog to see if I missed any..the long wait is totally worth it.
I am amazed by the way you can put your thoughts into words..Beautifully written as always..please write more often :-)
Hey Shylaja,
ReplyDeleteIt's so encouraging to hear that from you. I did take a break , sorry for that but I owe it to writers block. I shall certainly try to write more and shall keep you updated about my future posts :)
Thanks a tonnnnne ��
Rashmi